First, we’ve got a set of posts about dad’s role in parenting. Blake talks about how stay-at-home-dads face a set of cultural assumptions that are quite a bit different than those placed on moms in At-Home Fatherhood. Emma asks if some of these assumptions are encouraged and perpetuated by the moms, in Dads: Parenting or Babysitting? And Dan’s t-ball coaching adventure illustrates that even doing a traditional “dad” activity is real parenting.

Dr. Alan Singer talks about rationally weighing the risks of different types of dangers in Shiri is Right; Everything’s Bad for You. On a related note, one of the Rational Moms investigates whether she should worry about smoke residue in her car in Third Hand Smoke–How Much Do I Worry About This One?

Figur8 questions advice about spoiling your baby with love in The Relationship Between Babies and Vitamin L for Love.

Dale talks about how the super-popular kids’ book Olivia feeds current pathological drive for super-parenting to produce superkids in The Dark Side of Olivia.

Then Podblack talks about a mom who uses her eight-year-old daughter in her psychic show in The ‘Child Psychic’ – Dr Krissy Wilson Speaks Out On Today Tonight.

And for our carnival’s grand finale, Skepdad Brad gives us a comprehensive and skeptical look at the plethora of potty-training advice out there in Potty Training Advice For the Skeptical Parent.

That’s it this month, folks. Be sure to tune in next month when Skeptical Parent Crossing will be hosted at Clashing Culture! And between now an then, consider submitting your articles here.

So when I informed her of my pregnancy, she was delighted to explain to me how souls and other pregnancy-related phenomena work in or are affected by the “spiritual realm.” She told me she witnessed first-hand the process of choosing a soul for an ever-growing embryo/fetus, or, I should say, for the soul choosing the embryo/fetus.

Apparently, it goes something like this:

Around the time a pregnancy is present, various souls gather around the mother and begin watching her and her partner closely. This is why, according to my friend, women have very vivid, sometimes lucid dreams. All the “spiritual energy” surrounding the mother adds to her own, making her more cognitively aware of her surroundings and even clairvoyant. In fact, during pregnancy, my friend told me it’s much easier to have OBEs since the fetus’s energy and the mother’s energy combine for the remainder of the pregnancy.

Around the fourth month of pregnancy, the soul that will inhabit the fetus enters the fetal body (I guess they all duked it out and the winner gets to incarnate), which is right around the time most women can feel some fetal movement. This is where St. Thomas Aquinas got it right, so said my friend: “quickening” is when the soul enters the body.

Now, the people we’re close to in this life are all souls we’ve come to know through various reincarnations. Your significant other in this life may have been a former lover or your child or your parent in a past life, for example. All these souls are connected, and the fetus is no exception. So the souls that were vying for a particular pregnancy all seem to know one another. This is how you chose your parents, for example, and how your children, if you have any, chose you.

I don’t know why, but I find this very romantic. It’s intriguing to think about how my daughter was “floating around” in my kitchen during early pregnancy when I’d sneak in an extra doughnut or when I stubbed my toe in the garage or when I whispered mean expletives when the hormones were raging because my husband didn’t pick up the right kind of fried chicken.

It’s intriguing, it’s romantic, it’s even exciting and puts a smile on my face—but it’s not true.

Now, is my friend nuts or delusional? I don’t necessarily think so, or at least I don’t want to think so. Evidence tells me she’s a wonderful person who has great insight into life and enjoys herself. She’s smart, she’s mentally sound, she’s beautiful, and she has everything going for her.

I have no doubt that she believes she has OBEs, that she thinks she knows all about the afterlife (which, by the way, places dead atheists in a deep sleep or some dimension between the living and dead, so she says), or that she really believes this is her last incarnation on this planet, in this form.

The thing is: she’s not alone. In fact, I’ve read that many people who don’t know each other have had very similar experiences and have supposedly seen similar things while on “the other side.”

I don’t think I can just shrug people like this off as liars, although I’m sure there are a few who just intentionally lie for the sake of attention or acceptance or whatever, or as deluded, but I really wonder where belief like this comes from, how it originates, and why it sticks around—that sort of thing.

Or am I simply casting this off as not being real from the beginning without giving it proper skeptical attention and scrutiny? After all, there’s nothing empirical to indicate an afterlife exists, and science has done a fairly decent job of explaining the causes of so-called OBEs (although some still can’t be explained), but what if there is really something to it? After all, how can an otherwise rational person really think there’s an afterlife one can visit via an OBE?

I can’t answer these questions. I’d have to study the psychology of belief for years to even begin formulating some answer. Maybe you readers have had experience with this and can shed some light on the matter.

But I can tell you this: I don’t mind falling for romanticism every now and again. It feels good, even if it’s not real.

In searching online for a ghost costume that will fit Sally better than a sheet (and let me tell you, it’s hard finding a ghost costume that doesn’t make her look like a Klan member), I happened upon a blog for parents of psychic kids. This site promotes “intuitive parenting for intuitive kids.” The posts are from parents who believe their son or daughter sees ghosts (mostly deceased relatives) or has an invisible friend. 

Readers of this blog write with glee about how sensitive and perceptive their kids are. Billy communicates with Grandma! Cindy sees angels! Joey talks to an invisible friend! (Note their use of the word invisible rather than imaginary. As a child, my sister had two imaginary friends. We never thought she had a “gift,” we thought she had a screw loose.) The parents are desperate for advice on how to nurture the psychic ability in their “very special” children. It’s sad when adults think they possess psychic abilities, but it’s really sad when they project these ideas onto little kids. Some of the children referenced in posts are only two or three years old.

This phenomenon isn’t limited to the InterWeb. A show called “Psychic Kids: Children of the Paranormal” aired recently on A&E (that stands for Arts & Entertainment…not exactly the first place I look for scientific commentary). According to the show’s Web site, a medium named Chip Coffey “utilizes both his abilities in the paranormal and his Masters Degree in Psychology when he deals with children who are showing signs of possessing psychic and medium abilities.” 

Hmm… Where do I start? The first thing I wanted to know was where Coffee was educated. Unfortunately, I was unable to determine the validity of Coffee’s education claims because he doesn’t cite, at least any where I could find, where he earned his degree. In fact, he doesn’t mention his degree in most descriptions about himself. The best I could find was a claim from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution that Coffee is “every bit as accurate as John Edward” and the oh-so-respected scientific periodical, InStyle, which says “Chip Coffey is a cross between John Edward and Dr. Phil.” These are dubious claims to begin with, and hardly comprise a laudable list of Coffee’s achievements. Even Wikipedia–itself often questioned as a credible source of information because virtually anyone can edit its contents–has deleted pages about Coffee no less than five times for reasons such as “biographical article that does not assert significance.” 

Many believe that these types of programs should be given a pass because they have entertainment value for those who choose to watch them. At the same time, however, it’s really hard to stomach some of the claims made by these shows when they pretend to be scientific about their investigations. Ghost Hunters, for example, uses unproven flashy gadgets to support their points. This mainstream use of pseudoscience (or, arguably, fraud) convinces some viewers of the legitimacy of the stated claims. Fortunately, this entices professional skeptics groups to use real science to show the truth. Credit should also go to programs like Mythbusters that view claims through a skeptical eye. 

When children are in the mix, this is particularly sad. The “psychic” kids make claims of extraordinary abilities and their parents encourage it. The kids sense the approval and excitement of their mom or dad when they talk about seeing a “spirit” or having a conversation with Grandma. This is Little-League-Dad gone mad. We all want our kids to be special and unique. (What else can we brag about at the playground?) But, sacrificing rationality for competitive advantage and the chance to live vicariously through your child’s experiences or, much worse, encouraging a belief in something that has no basis in proven reality, makes the result a very questionable “gift.” 

Remember, we are not discussing tea service at playtime or the imagined lives of stuffed animals. We’re talking about educated adults that are encouraging children to communicate with the dead. Parents need to realize that children learn most of what informs their development from home, and the power of suggestion from elders is very enticing to a child. If every parent put as much focus into awakening a child’s interest in reading, art, math, music, science, history, or any other truly educational pursuit, we might end up with more literate, accomplished, and rational future generations.

For new parents, it’s difficult to know if an infant’s behavior is normal, or if the difficulties you are facing are a sign that something is wrong. It must be frustrating not to be able to communicate with your baby and find out exactly what’s bothering him or her. This is where Derek Ogilive says he can help.

Derek Ogilvie is a self-described medium and baby telepathist who claims he can communicate with babies and young children telepathically.  On his web site he says “It’s amazing how I have been able to turn around parents’ lives literally within a few minutes of connecting with their child. It’s about getting to the root of a problem immediately which is obviously something my gift allows me to do.”

I think there are two types of psychics:  the ones like Silvia Brown and John Edward who know they are charlatans  and intentionally play on people’s fears and pain to make money ; and those who are well intentioned but have deluded themselves into thinking that they have true psychic ability.

(James Randi has a one million dollar prize for anyone who can demonstrate psychic or paranormal ability.  No one has ever won it.  If someone is able to win that prize, or produce compelling and reproducible evidence of their ability in a controlled environment, I will happily change my mind about psychics.  Until then, I’m a non-believer.)

Derek seems to make a living by providing one on one reading and by doing tours where he demonstrates his abilities.  Looking at his website, I get the impression that he’s not a bad guy.  I think he truly believes he is able to psychically communicate with children.  But when you watch the videos of him “working,” you can clearly see that he is actually just doing a lot of guessing and cold reading  of the parents.

This story is another demonstration of how easy it is to take money away from well meaning, concerned parents and why we need to stay rational when it comes to our children.  

Extraordinary People pt. 1

 

Extraordinary People pt 2

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhhcweRKkfo

Extraordinary People pt 3

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjZwxO4YnE0

Extraordinary People pt 4

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuiBnMHqdV0

Extraordinary People pt 5

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wgxqiOD3hQ