We are having a secular Easter and pretty much ignored Passover. We “hid” eggs for my nearly two-year-old son, meaning we just scattered them around the living room in obvious places. We didn’t anticipate that the cat would think this was the best thing ever. Smells like food, rolls like a ball! Eggs everywhere. Oh well.

Growing up, my family did the eggs and baskets and never once went to church. However, we sometimes did a Passover seder. I remember loving it, and then as an adult, I decided the whole story was pretty wacky. I mean, God kills thousands of people in that tale. It seems like if he could appear as a pillar of fire and part the Red Sea, well, he might have been able to get the Jews out of Egypt with a little less bloodshed. The whole process was wildly inefficient.

Last night we stumbled across the Charlton Heston Ten Commandments and had to watch. The crowd scenes and the visuals are pretty amazing. The performances are bizarre and stiff, as if everyone is trying to act…Biblical. I could see, though, how metaphors in this story work to guide people. Sure, the whole thing is bloody and primitive, but underneath it all, one basic message is that if you don’t fight what seems to be your obvious destiny, paths will open up to you. If you keep fighting, you’re going to have major, epic problems. That’s the incredibly watered down, secular moral I was able to take away from watching Pharoah’s struggle against God. But apparently in the Bible, it’s God who hardens Pharoah’s heart, which hardly seems sporting. In the movie, of course, it’s a very sexy woman who causes all the trouble for Pharoah, speaking with her “serpent’s tongue” and spurring Ramses to fight the power and prove his manhood. Those women, always making trouble.

Ramses gives a stunning speech in which he explains the ten plagues in the most rational way possible. Look, you get dead frogs and sure, flies come next. What’s the big miracle there? If you’re an atheist or agnostic, the Pharoah is something of a sympathetic character, but he gets beaten down quite badly in the end. Too bad.

Brian Dunning did a podcast on Skeptoid asking, “Did Jewish Slaves Build the Pyramids?” The short answer is no, they didn’t. And the pyramids most likely weren’t even built by slaves. So the basis for this entire tale of Moses has, unsurprisingly, no historical evidence to back it up. Dunning also points out that the story is somewhat insulting to Jews and Egyptians, casting them falsely as victims and oppressors.

I find myself somewhat excited to share the religious meaning of these holidays–and to put them in the context of history–with my son as he gets older. Because my own parents were agnostic, I was brought up viewing the Easter and Passover stories as legends or metaphors, or at the very least not entirely historically accurate. That still didn’t stop the whole Egypt thing from being pretty terrifying. I mean, if you disobey, God will really, seriously kill you, no joke. He’s a badass. Gives one pause, for sure, as I’m sure it is meant to do.

I know this is a big question for secular parents: how do we present these holidays to our kids? For me, age appropriate honesty feels right, but I don’t know how much my son is going to understand, so I’m not sure which details to start with. And he’ll probably get all this from somewhere else anyway and come ask me. “So Easter isn’t just about the bunny?” And then where to begin?

I loved seeing his face when he found all the eggs, though. I didn’t grow up with religion, so for me, this is all holidays have ever been: mornings where special stuff gets left for you! Love it.

Astronomers have been making an effort to rebuild the connection — especially for kids — that these gorgeous astronomy pictures you see on the Internet are just more detailed images of things that you can see yourself with your own eyes. During the “100 Hours of Astronomy” (which I wrote about here), my kids and I got to see Saturn through a telescope for the first time! And, let me tell you, it’s an exciting experience to look at a dot of light in the sky, learn that it’s actually Saturn, and then see with your own eyes (through a telescope) that it really has rings, just like the pictures! Ditto for seeing the details of the moon (which we also saw that day), and seeing the moons and surface stripes of Jupiter (which we saw at a recent public observing at Princeton University)!!

But what about kids and parents who aren’t aware of such opportunities? Who might be inspired by seeing the planets through a telescope, but just haven’t thought of it? Well, that’s where Halloween comes in!!

Richard Wade of Friendly Atheist had a great idea!

He happens to have some fairly serious telescopes, and realized that Halloween was the perfect opportunity to share them with the neighborhood! It’s autumn (when the weather’s still warm, but it gets dark early), and kids teens and parents are out in a celebratory mood, ready to socialize with all the neighbors! It couldn’t be more perfect!

His wizard costume is part of his effort to make this telescope-viewing blend into the rest of the holiday celebration, but really I think it’s just because it’s fun to have an excuse to dress up as a wizard. And he reports that the kids, parents, and even teens really enjoy the opportunity! And don’t worry — he also passes out treats. The view of Jupiter is in addition to Halloween treats, not instead of (unlike the anti-Halloweeners who pass out Bible tracts).

What a fun idea! It makes me wish I had a telescope (well, and a yard…) so I could do the same! I hope the idea catches on, and other serious Astronomy hobbyists who have real telescopes will start doing this too!!

As she pointed out in the book “Free-Range Kids”:

Was there ever really a rash of candy killings? Joel Best, a professor of sociology and criminal justice at the University of Delaware, took it upon himself to find out. He studied crime reports from Halloween dating back as far as 1958, and guess exactly how many kids he found poisoned by a stranger’s candy?

A hundred and five? A dozen? Well, one, at least?

“The bottom line is that I cannot find any evidence that any child has ever been killed or seriously hurt by a contaminated treat picked up in the course of trick-or-treating,” says the professor. The fear is completely unfounded.

Give kids their costumes and candy. They are in more danger of being hit by a car than poisoned treats. So, keep them safe by following some simple common sense rules.

Photo courtesy of Flickr: YAXZONE

WE know we have it hard. Well, the research is now catching up to prove it. LiveScience.com posted 5 Scientific Reasons Mom Deserves Mother’s Day. Included here are some insightful findings based on recent scientific data. For example, moms today get less help and are expected to do more. Moms feel more pain. And, researchers have discovered that, although our genes come 50% from dad and 50% from mom, for some unknown reason mom’s genes have a more significant effect on the person you become.

One stark example: While you were in the uterus, if your mother had a very stressful experience, you’ll be at greater risk for anxiety disorders. And a new study on rats, out last month, indicates that your mother’s diet during pregnancy affected your genes.

More surprising, studies are showing that what your mother ate when she was a child, the toxins she was exposed to, and other experiences before and during pregnancy affect how the genes she passes on to you actually get expressed in your body.

Another study, reported this year in the journal Child Development, shows a profound impact of nurturing by mothers in the early years, too. A child who has a strong relationship with Mom during preschool years tends to form closer friendships in grade school, the research revealed.

So give yourself a pat on the back today, moms. You deserve it!

I feel better about the carols than I do about Santa, actually. Unlike a lot of atheists, I didn’t have to reject religion or ever come to terms with the idea that Jesus might not be an actual historical figure. My dad is a staunch atheist, and so was his dad. So I got this message about the whole Jesus story from ‘git go, as we say in the South: it’s metaphor, and most of it is the same as a lot of other myths—the whole virgin birth thing, etc. And Christmas itself is a pagan holiday adapted to Christianity—oh, we got the whole explanation quite early.

Now Santa, on the other hand, was totally real, until I was five and figured his game out. Then Mom broke it to me that there was no actual Santa but there was a “spirit of giving.” By the way, I don’t think the spirit of giving is a good substitute, to a five-year-old’s literalist mind. For a couple years there I thought there was a dude in a white sheet, like a Halloween ghost, who did…something vaguely related to Christmas and generosity. But nice try, Mom.

But the Jesus story was always a pretend story in my house, and so the music has always been really beautiful music about this great story. And so I find myself very moved by it. The whole idea of the “tender and mild” infant who is really a great king in heaven—it’s fantastic. And it’s even more moving this year, as I sit around listening to it with my own tender and mild infant.

I have to add here, since there have been a few atheist posts, that not all of our contributors are atheists, and I certainly don’t think you need to be an atheist to be rational. In fact, my brother is sitting around with his kids, at this time of year, and the carols and the story are going to be more real for them, because my brother met a really cute Catholic girl about ten years ago, and he decided he believed.

But still, raising kids as critical thinkers just can’t be a lost lesson, as a conversation between my brother and his fellow church goers demonstrates:

My brother: So, do you guys actually believe in like, angels and the devil?

Other church folks: Yep, scripture supports it.

My brother: But isn’t that polytheism?

Other church folks: No, because God is the main god.

My brother: Yeah, but Father Odin was the main god, too, you know?

Other church folks: Well, good night! See you next week!

So my brother might be might be bringing the kids up Christian, but it still might be largely metaphor and myth, in his household.

I saw some friends of mine taking their one and a half year old daughter through the Santa ritual for the first time. She was barely old enough to focus, but they carefully loaded a plate of cookies in her little hands and walked her over to the Christmas tree, explaining that Santa would later eat the offered snack. And (okay parents, cover the kids’ eyes), they later took little bites out of the cookies to complete the illusion that Mr. Claus had visited during the night.

I admit that the whole scene kind of creeped me out. It wasn’t just that it was a lie, but that it was such an elaborate lie. And that the ritual, the offering, the nice fairy tale nature of it all–it all reminded me of a religious rite. These parents are atheists, like my husband and myself. But they’re doing the Santa thing, because they feel, like we do, that a little irrationality can’t hurt. “But of course,” I said to my husband, when we discussed how to approach the Santa issue, “we shouldn’t go into such detail, with, you know, the cookies and everything.”

He looked like I had taken away dessert forever and ever. “We did that when I was a kid,” he said, “and I loved it.”

So I guess we’re doing that, too.

Some parents, however, get anxious around All Hallows’ Eve. Kids running amok, candy from strangers, concealed identities, dark nights, horror movies–along with media hype–can snowball into a bit of Halloween hysteria.

But, what, really are the risks of trick-or-treating?

Most parents fret over tainted candy. As kids, we heard stories about pins, razor blades, or a poisoned apple that a friend of a friend’s cousin got in his candy bag. Some parents even had treats x-rayed before allowing their children to dig in. As it turns out, some of this is urban legend. There has never been a known case of a madman giving out poisoned Halloween candy. The closest such event was the responsibility of a Texas man who killed his son in 1974 for the insurance money. He poisoned some Pixie Stix with cyanide and gave them to his son (who did eat the candy) and some other kids as cover up (who did not eat the candy).

That’s not to say that Halloween isn’t without its dangers, of course. Throughout the years, a very small number of pins and needles have been found in trick-or-treat goodies. Almost all of these cases were pranks and none resulted in serious injury. Statistically, in fact, the main dangers around Halloween are falls and car/pedestrian accidents.

It’s certainly wise to treat Halloween with a modicum of caution. The trick is, not to let your natural concern outweigh the treats. The most important thing to do is exercise a plentiful supply of common sense. Here are some obvious tips (that still sometimes go unheeded):

• Always accompany young children and, if they’re too old to have an uncool parent tag along, be certain they travel in groups that are as large as practical. Be certain they know not to accept rides from, or go inside the homes of, strangers.
• Get your kids to agree to a move along a pre-planned route and stay in the neighborhood. It’s best to know generally where they are and to set a time at which they must return home to prevent unnecessary risk or worry.
• If your children are actually traveling door to door (as opposed to going to a party, for example) make sure their costumes don’t significantly impede freedom of movement. This is especially true of shoes, no matter how much it may ruin the overall impact of the costume. Don’t indirectly contribute to another year of stumble and fall statistics.
• Check to be certain your children’s costumes are flame-retardant and that tell your kids to be aware of porch-bound jack-o-lanterns and sidewalk candle-in-a-bag lamps.
• Be sure the costumes have reflective surfaces and have your kids carry flashlights and glo-sticks. Caution trick-or-treaters to stick to the sidewalks and be very aware of moving vehicles and only cross at designated crossing areas and traffic lights. Nighttime driving can affect the vision of the soberest driver.
• Face paint is always better than a mask, so your child can see clearly when crossing the street. If a mask is a must for your child, be sure it is well ventilated to prevent overwhelming heat or CO2 intake.
• Most importantly, inspect your kids’ loot and check to see if anything appears to have have been tampered with. Individually wrapped, commercially packaged candy with a secure wrapping is best. When in doubt, pitch suspect pieces and substitute leftover handouts from your own supply. Treating your family to a fun Halloween dinner before the holiday festivities will help curb their appetite for candy until you’ve had a chance to look everything over.

Here’s a checklist (PDF) that your kids can read and agree to, making them feel more involved and partially responsible for their own safety. This helps foster a feeling of independence and reduces the likelihood of a rogue reveler.

Add to these precautions from your own experiences and parenting preferences. You may want to follow through on more than these simple suggestions. Remember, however, that this is supposed to be a fun holiday, and don’t lose your head.

A Rational Moms reader recently commented with a link to a press release from BackgroundChecks.com, a company that lets you search for a criminal background of an individual in “over 300 million criminal records”, a database of “national registered sex offenders,” and a “terrorist watch list”–for a Halloween discount of $5 per search. She wondered if this amounted to over-reacting.

The worth of such a service is largely a matter of opinion. Much of this information is available for free, and sometimes in more plentiful and useful presentations. Family Watchdog, for example–the first Google result, at the time of this writing, using the search phrase “sex offender”–makes you aware of all known sex offenders in your area for free, rather than restricting you to search on any one individual for a fee. Backgroundchecks.com claims to offer more, and I leave an evaluation of their services to the reader.

What bothers me are the company’s marketing and press materials. They tie into, and possibly amplify, a parent’s fear of Halloween. The web site claims to “Keep your kids safer this Halloween” with advice that ranges from dubious to fear mongering. Examples include “Has a neighbor offered to drive the kids around in his car this Halloween? Do you know if they have any moving violations?” and “If there is a house on the street that has a ‘No Candy Here’ sign posted, find out why.”

You may or may not want to investigate the criminal records of your neighbors, or everyone that ever comes in contact with your children. (I certainly wouldn’t trust my children to a neighbor I didn’t feel like I knew very well, and I’m not sure if running a yellow light makes a person a pederast or an imminent danger to my child.) But one of the oldest guidelines for a successful Halloween trick-or-treating experience is to avoid visiting homes without their porch light on, inviting ghost and goblins. A “No Candy Here” sign may suggest that a neighbor wants privacy, wants to avoid toilet-paper filled trees, or may simply be out of candy! (My grandmother passed out saltines one year when she ran out of candy. I argue that turning out the lights would invite less ire from the neighborhood kids.) Wouldn’t you rather skip a house than go all the way to the door only to get no reward (or a cracker)? Running a criminal background check on such a ’selfish villain’ seems excessive.

Use common sense and logical safety precautions on Halloween and, ideally, your biggest worry will be how to keep your kids from a sugar binge when you get home.