A while back, Skepchick published an article from their early days. Risa Beckwith explained the pressures she faced as a woman who had decided not to have kids:

So here’s the reality: I am childfree. That means that I have no children…by choice.

Those of us who identify as childfree use this term instead of ‘childless’ – because ‘childless’ implies there is a lack of something in our lives. People without ferrets wouldn’t identify themselves as ‘ferretless.’

Childfree does not mean that I hate children. I like older children. I just don’t want any of my own. Very smart people look at me like I have two heads if I ever say that I don’t really like babies, so I rarely bring it up anymore. Saying that I don’t like cats but I don’t kill cats either also does not help.

She goes on to list the most common ignorant reactions by people who don’t believe her when she says she isn’t interested in reproducing:

1. “You’ll change your mind.” I am nearly 35 years old. I’m pretty sure that 1) I know my own mind at this point, and 2) Don’t you think that if I wanted children, it would have happened by now? Other CFers prefer to say: “When did you know you wanted children? You’ll change your mind.”

I’m running into similar assumptions–and a similar entitlement people seem to feel about announcing their expert opinions on my personal life–with regard to the expectation that since I’ve recently produced one child, another one must be on the way soon.

See, it’s not enough to pop just one out. Everybody wants to know, when am I having the next one? » Continue reading “Only Children”

With winter upon us, the two most dreaded words for parents are SNOW DAY. We know that means coming up with crafts, meals, activities, games, and more just to keep our kids entertained. That’s what we have to do, right? We have to come up with ways to keep our kids stimulated, energized, learning, and happy. Only…we don’t.

The wonderfully insightful Lenore Skenazy (of Free Range Kids) argues that we’re overdoing it. Our kids don’t need us to jump through hoops to keep them entertained. Let THEM do it themselves.

You must play with your kids is so ingrained that we feel terrible when we’re bored sick by the idea of pouring another imaginary cup of tea. But maybe, like most pain, that boredom is trying to tell us something: Kiddie games are for KIDS. They really don’t need us!

No one is saying to neglect your kids. There are times for museums, classes, swim lessons, and games of Chutes and Ladders with Dad. However, it’s also important to let children do their own thing without an adult giving direction. Sometimes we forget that.

So, thanks to Lenore for the reminder!

Photo

I thought this study was interesting, and the way the article reports the study is pretty fair:

Whether or not spanking equates with dumber kids is not known, and may never be known. That’s because the only way to truly show cause and effect would be to follow over time two groups of kids, one randomly assigned to get spanked and another who would not get spanked.

Obviously, that sort of study would not be palatable for anyone involved.  So the author of this article did a good job of making it clear that correlation doesn’t necessarily equal causation.  Way to be.  That said, here’s what the study did find: » Continue reading “Study Links Spanking to Lower IQ”

Jen over at the fabulous Skepchicks blog has a new post on a topic dear to our hearts here at Rational Moms:

So here’s the question – what can we do to make skepticism more family-friendly? What suggestions would we have for conference organizers, such as the JREF, when it comes to reaching out to parents and their children? Or, do you think things are fine as they are?

There seems to be three schools of thought by the commenters. Our choices so far:

a. Make cons like TAM family friendly, by including some or all of the following options: provide child care, include workshops and presentations for children, and/or provide workshops for adults on how to be a skeptical parent, or raise skeptical kids.

b. Make a whole new con for families, or one just for kids and teens, like a TAM Jr.

c. Forget the whole thing, there shouldn’t be any kids at skeptical meetings.

So, I’m wondering how our readers feel about this? Your opinion might depend on several factors, such as whether you are a parent, whether your kids are young or grown, and even if you’ve ever been to a conference like TAM before.

I’m leaning between choices a and b. I love the idea of a huge meeting with other skeptics, where I get to meet some of the professionals in the field, make new friends, learn more about skeptical topics I am interested in, and also get to bring my kids and know that they are being cared for, entertained, and are learning about skepticism, critical thinking and science! That’s a dream vacation. Heck, I’d even be willing to help lead some of the activities for the kids!

However, does that mean TAM needs to change? Or would it be better to create a new conference for families, teens, and children?

I personally am all for raising skeptical kids. I want them to learn critical thinking and other skills to help them wade through all the woo-woo there is in the world. I absolutely can do some of this at home, in what I teach them and what I give them to read and to watch. I can also do this by taking them with me to Camp Inquiry. But I think it is time to offer more to our little skeptics.

So, how can we make skeptic’s meetings, and skepticism in general, family and kid friendly?

Input please!

It’s an exciting day for secular parenting! In Britain, Richard Dawkins is helping to launch the first summer camp for non-believers.

Richard Dawkins is subsidising the camp which will offer children aged eight to 17 the chance to sing along to John Lennon’s Imagine and have lessons in evolution.

The five-day camp, based in Somerset, promises to be ‘beyond belief’ – the event’s motto – and will rival traditional faith-based breaks run by the Scouts and church groups.

It’s great to have this option for children. It’s another place that can help teach our kids, according to Dawkins, to “think for themselves sceptically and rationally.”

Dale McGowan is there for us freethinking parents. He has two books on the topic of raising children in nonreligious households: Parenting Beyond Belief, the “first comprehensive book for nonreligious parents”, which includes a collection of essays by Julia Sweeney, Richard Dawkins, Penn Jillette and others, and Raising Freethinkers, which is a practical guide to parenting beyond belief, which includes activities and resources for the actual hands-on aspects of the subject.  He also has a blog, The Meming of Life, which gives freethinking parents continuous support, with short articles and funny anecdotes.

In addition to these resources, » Continue reading “Parenting Beyond Belief Channel on YouTube”

Skepdad compiled a fantastic list of blogs, book recommendations, and other links:

These are sites I read, books I reference, documents I consult, or information I find otherwise useful and interesting. I’ve put it here specifically to be a central hub of information (hopefully useful for others) for all things skeptical, science, parenting, educational, or otherwise tangential to that.

Check it out.  You will be reading for days and days.

I love sugar. I really really love sugar. I generally think of dinner as something I have to endure to get to dessert. In March of this year I stared a monthly cookie/dessert exchange where my friends and I get together under the pretext of exchanging cookies/desserts and their recipes but it’s actually just an excuse to sit around with my friends, talk, laugh, and eat a lot of sugar.

After a particularly good Cookie Exchange I updated my Facebook status with “Jessie is loving the sugar high from Cookie Exchange this afternoon.” A couple of my friends commented on my status informing me that there is no such thing as a “sugar high”.

This seemed crazy to me, I thought it was common knowledge that eating a lot of sugar gives you a buzzed feeling and makes you hyper. Kids go crazy and run around like Tasmanian devils at birthday parties and holidays because of all the sugar, right? Wrong.

» Continue reading “The Myth of the “Sugar High””

I often wonder how what I am interested in, and am therefore sharing with my kids, will affect their interests when they are adults.

I’m interested in science, so I talk about it frequently. My husband is good at math, and often talks about that. The kids are little sponges, listening to all this talk. We make frequent visits to science museums and zoos. We have lots of books about science. We even sit at the dinner table and do math problems in our heads while we eat (I know, I know, nerd alert). For example, five-year-old Little Skeptic Boy spends a lot of time asking questions such as, “What’s 32 plus 32?” Handsome Skeptic Husband always has the right answer, and fast! That impresses and thrills our boy.

My interest in astronomy has resulted in seven-year-old Little Skeptic Girl submitting moon-themed science fair projects for the past two years. The first one, when she was in Kindergarten, consisted of her drawings accompanied by facts she had learned about the moon. One of the drawings was of a little alien who says “Meep!”. When I asked her what description I should type for that drawing, she said, » Continue reading “Will Little Skeptic Girl Grow Up to be an Astronaut?”

As an adult who never really outgrew childhood, Halloween is my favorite holiday. Cool weather, candy, costumes, and no religion (for the most part)… what could be better?

Some parents, however, get anxious around All Hallows’ Eve. Kids running amok, candy from strangers, concealed identities, dark nights, horror movies–along with media hype–can snowball into a bit of Halloween hysteria.

But, what, really are the risks of trick-or-treating?

» Continue reading “A Rational Halloween”