Fearless Formula Feeder
Wow, I got goosebumps reading the first post on Fearless Formula Feeder:
I live in a boob-eat-boob world. Otherwise known as the upper middle-class parenting circles of Los Angeles. Here, breast is not only best, it is the yardstick by which your parenting prowess is measured. And in this land of (breast)milk and honey, I stand alone. Not the only formula feeder (although definitely one a very small and shame-ridden few), but the only PROUD formula feeder.
Oh, yeah, this is gonna be good!
Google “formula feeding blogs” and what comes up? Other than a few posts from general parenting bloggers, there’s nothing. (And, great as some of them may be, they are usually just essays on the guilt involved with not nursing.) Not one blog specifically dedicated to the loving, concerned parent who is also a formula feeder.
So here I am, guys. Willing to take it for the team.
Who am I? I like to call myself a factivist. Kind of an anti-lactivist. (Again, to be clear, I am not anti-breastfeeding- I am just against making it into a political issue like the self-proclaimed lactivists do.) Someone who likes to look at the studies a bit more carefully, who likes to play devil’s advocate, and stand up for the underdog.
So let’s get this party started. Crack open that can of Similac or Earth’s Best or Target Brand formula,shake up that bottle, and join me in a toast: here’s to us, formula feeders. Here’s to taking back our choices, taking back our pride in ourselves as parents. It’s about damn time.
I could cry! This is a really fun blog.
Folks, I’m on month 22 of breast feeding. And living in that same upper middle class LA parenting circle, it kind of annoys me to get kudos for it. Sure, sure, I’m La Leche League’s poster child. It worked out for me. It’s great. I love it. But no, it’s not making my kid smarter. Please stop saying that! He just hates cow’s milk, and well, we’re still nursing.
Jim Said,
March 16, 2010 @ 11:29 am
that’s awesome. we tried everything but it just wasn’t working for us. finally, we broke down and went to the formula. some friends were less than cool about the whole thing, which hurt my wife. a friend who has two beautiful, freaky smart AND sporty daughters said she formula fed. that made it better. I think breastfeeding is the way to go if you can, but sometimes it just doesn’t work. in that case, it’s good to have the alternative (and noy have friends that will try to guilt you).
davery Said,
March 16, 2010 @ 12:07 pm
As a new parent (albeit male, so not so emotionaly involved in the breast-feeding debate), and as a member of the LA upper-middle-class, I HATE it when people ask me if “we” are breast-feeding. My wife can and does breast feed our new son, but if there were issues and it didn’t work out we would happily move to formula. We will probably move to formula before my wife goes back to work so that I can feed the boy before dropping off at daycare.
Yet when we tell people that yes, “we” are breast feeding the baby, we get these ridiculous congratulation as if we have saved the planet or something. While I love living in Los Angeles, the general parenting crowd is so full of woo and nonsense that I have to literally bite my tongue on a regular basis so as not to start arguments.
Fearless Formula Feeder Said,
March 16, 2010 @ 12:28 pm
Ummm… THANK YOU!! You have totally made my day. I get a lot of hate mail so it is really, really amazing to see something positive every now and then.
And I am even more relieved to hear from someone who is breastfeeding – as I’ve said many times on the blog, ALL of my friends nursed/are still nursing, and I envy and admire them, because they are doing something so good and natural and empowering. The last thing I’d want is my message to be misconstrued as anti-breastfeeding. I believe that by defending out rights as parents to make the decisions that are best for our individual families, we will protect both breastfeeding AND formula feeding moms.
So, thanks so much, and I hope you’ll “hang out” on the blog – I will certainly be putting this one on my reader!
Joanna Said,
March 16, 2010 @ 5:04 pm
I did a combination of both for the first 5 months and then switched to formula only when both my husband and I were back to work. I have taken only a minimum of flak for this decision, but I still find it incredibly weird that total strangers continue to ask me whether I am nursing or not. Since when are my breasts YOUR business?
jessica Said,
March 21, 2010 @ 10:06 pm
I tossed in the towel at 16 days. Thank you. Now stop applauding. I’m not THAT great
Julie Said,
March 22, 2010 @ 7:43 am
LOL–Great to see you hear Jessica. Here, I will pimp your blog for you. For more laughs…
http://bernthis.com/wordpress/
Emilia Said,
March 30, 2010 @ 8:32 am
I breastfed my daughter for two and a half years, until I had to stop because I was put on an anti-seizure medication, and by that time she was basically using the breast as a pacifier rather than actually getting any nourishment from it. However, I will most likely formula feed my next (possible) child because I plan to adopt. Now I know adoptive mothers can still breast feed, but in almost all cases they have to supplement their milk (even pro-breastfeeding books say this), and with the medication I’m taking breastfeeding might not be safe anyway. So I’ll in all probability have to use formula.
With regard to breastfeeding, sometimes I think defenders of formula tend to ignore the fact that a.) breastfeeding does have benefits over formula, although those benefits are much less in an industrialized country like Canada than in the developing world, and b.) at least 95% of women can produce enough milk for their children (even “Dr. Mom” Marianne Neifert, who strongly challenges the notion that all women can make sufficient milk, says this).
On the other hand, some lactivists tend to be a little fanatic in their approach. They seem to think that all women should breastfeed no matter what the situation. They’re a bit like the pro-lifers who feel every woman should carry a pregnancy to term regardless of the situation (ex. nine-year-old girl raped by her stepfather). Really, if a woman for whatever reason doesn’t want to breastfeed, is it really benefiting anyone – mother herself, baby, rest of the family – if she’s morally browbeaten into doing so? I don’t think so. If a mother’s going to be happier bottlefeeding, her baby will ultimately be too.
So here it’s a good example of to each her own.
Jen Said,
April 1, 2010 @ 7:47 am
This is great to see. I managed to exclusively breast feed my son for 5 months even after going back to work at 2 months. However I just couldn’t keep up with his feeding demands so the past few weeks I’ve had to supplement with formula. It was a heart wrenching day for me when I had to tell my nanny that she would have to supplement with formula because I wasn’t producing enough. I mean, with what some of these breast feeding commandos say I felt like I was a failure! But he LOVES formula – and now that I’m winding down I realize how nice it is that I’m kind of off the hook as his sole food source. Call me lazy or selfish, but in my opinion bottle feeding is turning out to be great for me and my son.