I will say this about birthing classes of some type, and we did get lucky with the other couples in our class, the class can connect you with other expectant parents at the same stage as yourself. So the extra contact beyond what you can get through some of the parenting forums is kinda nice.

“But not all of us want that and I think a lot of people are lying to get more people to be persuaded that way. The worst part, as with most things since junior high (you’re too fat, your hair doesn’t look right, I can’t believe you would wear *those* jeans) is that women are doing it to each other.”

I think it’s fine either way, drugs or no drugs. But it strikes me as funny that I would have the same reaction as you did. I guess it’s always easier to “hear” or remember the negative reinforcement we may have gotten.

My point was that, I objected to the TEACHER being ok with one intervention but not another. It seemed odd that in the teacher’s mind it was fine to use an intervention to get pregnant but not interventions became not ok when it came to to giving birth.

First of all, for couples that use IVF, it is usually the last resort and the only way to even get pregnant. However, women have the choice, in most cases, to choose how much medical intervention she has during childbirth (C-section, epidural or no, midwife and/or doctor).

Second, getting pregant using IVF is invasive and you feel like a science experiment. For those of us with fertility issues, first you have to accept losing the idea that you will get pregant with just your husband in anything resembling a private event. You have very little control over the process, you spend thousands of dollars trying for what everyone else gets so easilty, and forget having any sense of privacy.

So–I applaud those two IVF couples and the teacher for choosing to bring their hard-fought child into the world as naturally as possible. They worked damn hard to make that happen.

I recently reconnected with a friend who’s three months out from her birth experience and she, too, labored painfully a long time, before getting the epidural which she thought was great. Upon receiving it, she said she thought all the anti-epi stuff was anti-woman and I have to agree. No man would allow someone to talk about ‘denying’ him pain relief until some set measurement of readiness (4cm dilation seems to be what’s fashionable now), a measurement set by others, no less, not the pain that he himself is feeling.

Mind you if a woman really wants to go ‘natural’ which requires myriad classes and exercises, then OK, go for it, fill yer boots. But not all of us want that and I think a lot of people are lying to get more people to be persuaded that way. The worst part, as with most things since junior high (you’re too fat, your hair doesn’t look right, I can’t believe you would wear *those* jeans) is that women are doing it to each other.

btw, my Mom nursed five of us in the 60s when it wasn’t the popular thing to do…I should have just had her “teach” me.

Hopefully the lactation consultants will be great, and you should definitely use them. However, you never know who you will get and how helpful they’ll be, or if they’ll be available when you need them. Another limitation is that often women most need help when their milk comes in, which is usually after you have left the hospital and the lactation consultants.

If you have time, you might consider attending a local La Leche League meeting before the birth (www.llli.org). You’ll get to meet other nursing mothers, and meet leaders who you can call after the baby is born for help. In any case, at least look up your local group so you have a phone number of someone to call for additional help, from the hospital, or after you get home.