Birthing and Parenting Classes – My Experiences So Far
I’m at 33 weeks pregnant and am in the middle of the maternity class gauntlet. Jodi’s earlier post about Birthing Classes inspired me write up some of my experiences.
Lamaze Class at A Local Hospital
My husband and I signed up for a four week Lamaze class taught through a local hospital. We barely made it through the first class and never went back. Our problem was really with the teacher and not the class, but oh what a big problem it was!
Right off the bat, the instructor had an unfortunate voice. Loud, nasal… annoying. My willingness to ignore the voice and concentrate on the message may have been a mistake. It turns out that when a screechy harpy voice is mixed with condescension, unsubstantiated claims, anti-doctor paranoia and anti-vaccination messages, the voice quickly becomes intolerable.
It started off poorly and only got worse. During our initial introductions, I mentioned I had received a voice mail from my doctor saying that I didn’t pass my first glucose test and that I’d need to take another. I could feel my “can we pleeeeeeze just get through this and leave” husband wince, but I wanted to have something more to say to the group than, “Hi I’m Jessie, I’ve had a very easy, uneventful pregnancy and I’m having a boy.” Big mistake: The instructor insinuated that my doctor was probably doing it to cover her ass and that they make the bar low so the doctors who are in cahoots with the drug companies and laboratories can get money by making women take the second test. Next came a list of gestational diabetes horror stories. I smiled, waited for her to stop screeching at me long enough to gently tell her that I was going to talk to my doctor and take the second test before I began worrying about gestational diabetes. Luckily I had read about it and talked to friends so I knew that only 4% of women actually get gestational diabetes. Many women don’t pass the first test but do pass the second. I also knew that if I did have it, gestational diabetes is a very manageable condition. Otherwise she may have freaked me out.
When I’ve mentioned the second glucose test to others, I’ve been told that a mid-wife would simply measure my belly and check my diet and shame on my doctor for treating me like I was sick. But, isn’t the only way to know for sure that your blood sugar levels are normal to draw blood and measure the amount of sugar? Why wouldn’t I want to know for sure? Making sure I’m healthy isn’t treating me like I’m sick, it’s called preventative medicine, people.
I’m here to tell you that the second glucose test is NO FUN! Mine was fifteen hours of fasting and four blood draws. I would happily go through that discomfort to make absolutely certain that my baby and I are healthy. After passing my second glucose test, I celebrated with a thick slice of chocolate cake.
All through the class the instructor would tell us not to be scared about our pregnancy or the birth, after all, “It’s not a medical emergency.” Then, immediately screech examples of all the scary and horrible things that can happen during childbirth. Fascinating. Appalling. Funny.
I knew when signing up that Lamaze advocates unmediated birth and the point is to help manage the pain without medication. Great. That’s fine until the instructor implies that interventions somehow harm the baby and the mother and doctors push for you to have en epidural because they get kickbacks from drug companies while offering no evidence to support these claims. Mainly, those who choose something like a c-section or epidural miss out on having an “authentic” childbirth and aren’t real women.
There were two couples in the class who got pregnant using In Vitro Fertilization. I think this is a beautiful wonderful thing! The teacher seemed to think so too. I would call In Vitro Fertilization a pretty hard-core intervention. Apparently the teacher was fine with the use interventions to get pregnant but not to relieve pain during delivery. Highly illogical, Captain.
Toward the end of class she said, “Doctors coming out of medical school now don’t even see unmediated births anymore.” This was just too much for my husband. He felt that was an extraordinary claim and required some extraordinary evidence. He asked her where she got her information. After some back and forth and evasion on her part, she admitted that she inferred that information from “articles”. That just wasn’t good enough for us. We were done with her.
Like I said before, my problem was with the teacher not the class. I thought about trying to find a different class but decided that it just wasn’t for me. I’m not anti birthing class, it’s just not my thing.
Infant CPR Class
This two and a half hour class was two hours too long. The class was informative and the instructors were knowledgeable. They handed out a pamphlet with a lot of good information and we saw an instructional video that was helpful. The instructors also answered questions, watched us practice on dummies and corrected us if we were doing something wrong, which I found comforting. The rest felt like filler. It would have been a perfect class if it lasted 30- 45 minutes.
Maternity Tour of Cedars-Sinai
This was a great. The tour of the Maternity facilities was given in a group and lasted about one hour. My husband described our tour guide as “The Winner of the Jewish Lady from New York Contest”. She was funny, informative and helpful. We got all sorts of useful information on: where to park, what rooms we will be in when in during early labor, where we will be during delivery, what happens to the baby right after delivery (they remain with the family at Cedars, by the way) contact information, what to bring with us and more. This was an hour well spent.
Conclusion
When I first got pregnant I was excited (I still am!), went a little nuts and signed up for a bunch of classes. I signed up for Lamaze, Infant CPR, a Maternity Tour of the Hospital, Breast Feeding and a Baby Care Class. Yes, a little excessive. Personally, I learn best through watching a demonstration or a lecture so I thought that the classes would be a good way for me to go. But maternity classes are different then having someone walk you through the advanced effects in Final Cut Pro, media management for the AVID or going through a video tutorial on doing motion graphics in After Effects. (I’m a Video/TV editor) The Maternity classes I’ve experienced have a little bit of great info mixed in with a lot of opinion and emotion and just aren’t for me.
I canceled the Breast Feeding Class. I will probably go the Baby Care class, because I can’t get my money back, but I told my husband that he shouldn’t go. He is happily going to a funeral instead. Seriously.
I have a fantastic doctor who is happy to sit with us and answer all of our questions. I’ll get a visit from a lactation consultant when I’m in the hospital after delivery and I can ask the nurses about all the stuff that will be covered in the Baby Care Class during my two day stay at the hospital. I also have plenty of people to ask and books I can read if I have a problem with anything. I feel well taken care of and have full access to all the info I could ever possibly need.
My conclusion on classes is that they can offer some good information. That same information is readily available in books, from your doctor, at the hospital, or from other people who have had kids. How you choose to get the information is just a matter of personal preference.
catgirl Said,
June 12, 2009 @ 11:43 am
I find it a little annoying when people say that doctors shouldn’t be involved with pregnancy and childbirth because it’s not a disease. Well, childbirth hurts. A lot. Being natural doesn’t make the pain hurt less. Of course experiences vary and women should make their own choices about epidurals, but for something that’s not a disease, labor can certainly feel a lot worse than one.
jessiemarion Said,
June 12, 2009 @ 11:47 am
I completely agree catgirl.
Julie Said,
June 12, 2009 @ 11:55 am
Didn’t the screechy lady also tell you to go research vaccinations and imply that you shouldn’t vaccinate? (Sorry, I heard this all in person.)
Stacy Said,
June 12, 2009 @ 11:56 am
I never got as far as taking a natural childbirth class when I was pregnant (kid came 2 mo early – yes, there was some procrastination). We had asked our OB what she thought of their value and she flashed us a dear in the headlights look, visions of 80-page birthing plans flashing through her mind. We reassured her that with hubby’s significantly premature birth and my cousins’ severely complicated births, we were NOT risking an out-of-hospital or avoid-intervention-at-all-costs experience. We’re just big on having as many tools available as possible. She heaved a sigh of relief at hearing common sense.
Thankfully, at the advice of a close friend I *had* taken a breastfeeding class – she insisted I take it down at Torrance Memorial despite me being registered up here at Huntington, because she liked the instructor at Torrance so much. Practical, educated, pleasant, she was great. She disputed the myths that all women can breastfeed and it’s easy peasy for everyone. She described all of the ways she’s seen women have issues in decades of working at hospitals and with La Leche League. She dispelled myths about how breast milk is produced and stored (we do not function like cattle…), affected by diet, and irreplacable by formula (though obviously cheaper). She endorsed everyone having as much info as possible so they could make the appropriate choice for themselves and their own family.
Frankly, with a kid who wound up in the NICU for a month, I was most grateful for the classroom exposure to the pumping equipment/supplies available as my mom had three easy births with easy breastfeeding, including my 11-yr younger bro, so my personal experience until then had not included significant pumping. I wound up with the hospital grade “cadillac” version on rental for the first two months of my son’s life – first to pump for him while he was in the hospital, then to help transition my supply back down when he got home and I was overproducing by a liter a day (ow).
Stacy Said,
June 12, 2009 @ 11:58 am
*deer in the headlights
I tried to proofread this one, I swear. I fail at comments today.
jessiemarion Said,
June 12, 2009 @ 12:01 pm
Julie- Yes screechy lady was way anti vaccination. Ugg.
Michelle Said,
June 12, 2009 @ 12:11 pm
I had the same reaction to the class though my class was an all in one class (6 sessions), one of which was the hospital tour (the only useful part). Mixed in with all that were the same ridiculous messages about “natural” childbirth, the evils of formula, circumcision and interventions etc…
Plus there’s this:
http://www.bjog.org/details/news/228373/Natural_childbirth_preparation_with_psychoprophylaxis_does_not_reduce_the_need_f.html
Which basically shows that the classes don’t reduce epidural use or improve the birth experience. I didn’t stay for all of mine either.
I would suggest that you talk to people who have had positive experiences with Lactation Consultants. I went through three before I found one (a RN who also was an LC) who didn’t spout woo at me. That experience is also dependent on who is doing the teaching.
Congratulations!! Hope everything goes well.
Ryan Said,
June 12, 2009 @ 12:43 pm
I am so, so glad that our childbirth classes at the hospital (Misericordia in Edmonton, AB) weren’t like that (they weren’t Lamaze branded, that may have helped). One of the maternity nurses ran the program, and we got to hear the pros and cons of each of the options offered. They even passed around the tube that they use for an epidural so that everyone could see it (and the amniohook got passed around, too, it was like show and tell
).
Another benefit of taking childcare class at the hospital? Hospital tour is included.
Matt Said,
June 12, 2009 @ 1:44 pm
My wife and I took the infant CPR, baby care and delivery (not Lamaze), and my wife also took the breastfeeding classes through our hospital (NYU Langore here in NYC) and we can’t say enough good things about them. Essentially they only confirmed what we’d been reading, but it was nice to get the same information from several different sources. Maybe because it was through the hospital, there certainly wasn’t any anti-doctor vibe to it and the instructor for the main course was one of the senior nurses in the maternity ward. Thus, after the classes and the tour, by the time we showed up for the big day, we knew exactly where to go, what to do, and what was going on (we even knew some names).
All in all the overall experience with the hospital was great – even the guy who sat with me while I did the paperwork was friendly and patient. My wife ended up having an emergency C-section so I was a little freaked out and everyone was calm and made us feel as much at ease as was possible. Had we not gone through these classes or had some kind of anti-hospital attitude, when it came down to an emergency situation we would have been 10 times as freaked out as we were.
I guess I can understand to some extent the folks who don’t want hospital and doctors for their delivery, but every once in a while you end up in a situation like ours where emergency care was necessary and I just wonder if the folks intent on going the “natural” route are really prepared for the worst case situations that sometimes occur.
Happy ending though – we’ve got a healthy 4 month old now. Still doesn’t sleep through the night, so maybe not a COMPLETELY happy ending…yet.
Derek Cramer Said,
June 12, 2009 @ 2:17 pm
Catgirl – Childbirth is NOT a disease, but it IS a life-threatening condition. =)
My wife and I went through a bunch of classes too. I am very glad we didn’t have a raspy anti-vaxxer as an instructor though. Although our’s did bring in her husband on the last day to try and sell us insurance. =P
Dash Said,
June 12, 2009 @ 5:08 pm
I’d definitely definitely recommend the breastfeeding class. While it’s natural, breastfeeding is still a learned skill and the class at least gives you a chance to see it in action before you’re swamped by the hormones and panic of your own crying newborn.
I’ve had 2 births, one natural one with pethidine, and the natural one was far far better. But my hypnobirthing home course was really good – very accepting that things happen and you go with the flow. That’s why I ended up with the pethidine – when my ob recommended that I needed a drip to speed labour, I took his advice and had the drip. That’s what I’m paying him for! I think the natural birthing zealots do a huge disservice by stopping people from hearing a real message. Epidurals do lead to more problems, they do lead to a higher rate of caesars, they lead to more discomfort and work – you just don’t feel it at the time! Being stuck on a bed and monitored is the hardest way to push a baby out, you are stopping your own muscles from working to help and not using gravity. And while caesars are a wonderful intervention that have saved many lives, they are major surgery that takes weeks to recover from. Doesn’t it make sense to try to minimise your chances? Doesn’t it make sense to learn about other pain management options that happen to include relaxing, walking, showers and other non-medical things? Options are good because if they don’t work you can try something else, and the more options you have, the more in control you can feel.
All that study on the classes really showed was that that particular class didn’t work. There are a plethora of ways of preparing for birth, and in fact that’s the easy bit! But the bit that really helped me is – we’re having a baby, not a labour. You wouldn’t medicate yourself for a gym workout and say afterwards that really hurt. You’d say wow, what a great workout I could feel my body working. Obviously childbirth is far more intense and far harder work, but you get so much more out of it. If you need an epidural go for it. But in some cases it can be short term gain for long term cost.
Jodie Miller Said,
June 12, 2009 @ 5:47 pm
I second Dash’s comment that the breastfeeding course is rather essential and could well save you a very stressful first few weeks with your infant.
I would also be concerned about an obstetrician who is anti-childbirth education. From what I can gather about hospital birth in the US (my American-born baby was born at home with an an independent midwife – my previous three were born in Australian birth centre with midwifery care only, all wonderful experiences) the vast majority of doctors AND midwives see very few natural, unhindered births in their wards.
My advice about pain relief (for what it’s worth – you seem to have already made up your mind) is to learn about the interactive processes of labour hormones and how drugs (including the epidural) interfere with the birth reflexes. Learn also how medications cross the placenta barrier and risk interfering with your baby’s inherent repiratory and sucking reflexes. A lot of mothers administered demoral/pethadine see their babies given a Narcan injection after birth as an antidote. Is this an optimal start for your baby?
Yes, I agree every pregnant woman needs very effective filters for the information overload prior to labour and birth, but a cynical attitude could well backfire on you and yours. Tread carefully!
Jennifer Said,
June 12, 2009 @ 5:49 pm
I would encourage you to consider the breastfeeding class. My breastfeeding class was actually the class I found least useful, but I was still glad I took it. The class offered things I wasn’t able to get from a book or online or even from close friends. We “practiced” nursing a doll and got to really understand the positioning better. We saw a great video of how to and how not to latch on a baby.
Hopefully the lactation consultants will be great, and you should definitely use them. However, you never know who you will get and how helpful they’ll be, or if they’ll be available when you need them. Another limitation is that often women most need help when their milk comes in, which is usually after you have left the hospital and the lactation consultants.
If you have time, you might consider attending a local La Leche League meeting before the birth (www.llli.org). You’ll get to meet other nursing mothers, and meet leaders who you can call after the baby is born for help. In any case, at least look up your local group so you have a phone number of someone to call for additional help, from the hospital, or after you get home.
Karla E Said,
June 12, 2009 @ 10:28 pm
Our first son was born nearly 11 years ago…both of us were “older” so we took lots of classes. My husband still jokes about the Lamaze class. He says they took the most basic skill…breathing…and gave that job to the husbands.
You know…”ok, your job is to remind your wife to BREATHE during labor” And secretly they are all thinking…”Everyone wants the Dad in the delivery room. Let’s give them a job they can’t screw up. Breathing, yeah, that’s it.”
Karla E Said,
June 12, 2009 @ 10:31 pm
Also, my Mom still cringes at the sight of a 300 lb. nurse “teaching” me to breast feed by MANIPULATING my boobs to hell so that my son could nurse. Probably the reason I never really felt that “connection” that most Moms feel when their babies are nursing…hard to get that image out of your mind.
btw, my Mom nursed five of us in the 60s when it wasn’t the popular thing to do…I should have just had her “teach” me.
jessiemarion Said,
June 12, 2009 @ 10:46 pm
Matt- I’m glad to hear you enjoyed your classes. I took the Lamaze through a hospital so I was surprised that there was an anti-doctor vibe. It looks like the birthing classes that aren’t associated with a particular technique (Lamaze or Bradley) seem to be more of what I was hoping for. In retrospect I should also have asked who was teaching the class. If it was taught by a maternity nurse from the hospital I think I would have liked it better.
Dash Said,
June 12, 2009 @ 11:10 pm
On re-reading it sounds like I’m putting down the pethidine, I’m not. I needed the drip, so I needed the pethidine. I suppose I’m saying that pain relief sounds good at the time, but it can have a lot of consequences you don’t expect.
Fanisse Said,
June 14, 2009 @ 5:33 pm
My birth class was the first tip off that NCB was ideologically driven and not fact based. Though it was a hospital class, the teacher had no compunction about making her extreme bias in the natural direction known and silenced the attendees who thought that birth was anything but a divine and peaceful experience (btw, I complained to my OB and to anyone who would listen about this). I was basically on the fence, see what happens, but don’t think I would have been if the course of labor and pain of childbirth hadn’t been so misrepresented in the class.
I recently reconnected with a friend who’s three months out from her birth experience and she, too, labored painfully a long time, before getting the epidural which she thought was great. Upon receiving it, she said she thought all the anti-epi stuff was anti-woman and I have to agree. No man would allow someone to talk about ‘denying’ him pain relief until some set measurement of readiness (4cm dilation seems to be what’s fashionable now), a measurement set by others, no less, not the pain that he himself is feeling.
Mind you if a woman really wants to go ‘natural’ which requires myriad classes and exercises, then OK, go for it, fill yer boots. But not all of us want that and I think a lot of people are lying to get more people to be persuaded that way. The worst part, as with most things since junior high (you’re too fat, your hair doesn’t look right, I can’t believe you would wear *those* jeans) is that women are doing it to each other.
Carrie Said,
June 15, 2009 @ 5:30 am
I don’t think that using in vitro fertilization to get pregnant is at all inconsistent with wanting a natural (no-drug) childbirth.
First of all, for couples that use IVF, it is usually the last resort and the only way to even get pregnant. However, women have the choice, in most cases, to choose how much medical intervention she has during childbirth (C-section, epidural or no, midwife and/or doctor).
Second, getting pregant using IVF is invasive and you feel like a science experiment. For those of us with fertility issues, first you have to accept losing the idea that you will get pregant with just your husband in anything resembling a private event. You have very little control over the process, you spend thousands of dollars trying for what everyone else gets so easilty, and forget having any sense of privacy.
So–I applaud those two IVF couples and the teacher for choosing to bring their hard-fought child into the world as naturally as possible. They worked damn hard to make that happen.
jessiemarion Said,
June 15, 2009 @ 9:00 am
Carrie – I’m sorry if I didn’t make myself clear in the post. I agree with you. I don’t think it is inconsistent of the parents to want a non medicated birth. I have friends who have gone through IVF and completely understand the desire to have non medicated birth. I’m way way way fine with that. I don’t have a problem with anyone wanting to have an unmedicated birth. It’s completely personal choice.
My point was that, I objected to the TEACHER being ok with one intervention but not another. It seemed odd that in the teacher’s mind it was fine to use an intervention to get pregnant but not interventions became not ok when it came to to giving birth.
Rebecca Said,
June 30, 2009 @ 1:19 pm
It’s funny, Fanisse, because I feel the same way about the opposite situation. I “went natural” and while I switched doctors and made other decisions to put myself in pregnancy-positive atmosphere, I still sometimes felt an expectation that I should and would get an epidural. And to that I would say:
“But not all of us want that and I think a lot of people are lying to get more people to be persuaded that way. The worst part, as with most things since junior high (you’re too fat, your hair doesn’t look right, I can’t believe you would wear *those* jeans) is that women are doing it to each other.”
I think it’s fine either way, drugs or no drugs. But it strikes me as funny that I would have the same reaction as you did. I guess it’s always easier to “hear” or remember the negative reinforcement we may have gotten.
PhilB Said,
July 1, 2009 @ 10:15 am
My wife and I had a pretty similar experience through Bradley method. Anecdotally we’ve heard that our instructor was much less extreme than some others.
I will say this about birthing classes of some type, and we did get lucky with the other couples in our class, the class can connect you with other expectant parents at the same stage as yourself. So the extra contact beyond what you can get through some of the parenting forums is kinda nice.