To say otherwise would not be truthful. Why does the very idea of breastfeeding make you want to vomit? Is this an issue that you could raise with someone who can help and support you? (like a counselor?)

If formula were comparable to breast milk, you would not be pressured to breastfeed. No one would care. But it’s just not the case. Breastfeeding mothers are under tremendous pressure as well by all sorts of people (by the way.)

Have you spent time with other new moms who breastfeed their babies? What is your experience with breastfeeding? If our culture were breastfeeding friendly- we would all be familiar with the sight of nursing babies all around us. But many new mothers have no direct experience with breastfeeding, and this only serves to make them even more uncomfortable with the idea of nursing their babies.

Nursing is the most natural thing in the world. It offers emotional bonding unparalleled by bottle feeding. I urge you to get help to find the source of your discomfort around nursing. Your body will make your milk specifically for your baby, based on all sorts of biological and environmental cues that have developed over millions of years of evolution. When you have been exposed to an illness, for example, your body makes potent antibodies and other things to help your baby ward off that specific infection. It is proven that babies who breastfeed have fewer illnesses and the illnesses they do get are less severe than formula fed babies. It is also proven that formula fed babies are more likely die from SIDS and to develop food allergies.

Our culture teaches us that breasts are sex objects and this makes many women uncomfortable nursing. Becoming a mother allows us the opportunity to transform our issues around sex and our bodies to become what our babies need from us. You can do it and you have my support.

I’m sorry I can’t make you feel instantly better by lying to you about the importance of breastfeeding, but I can tell you that as a mother- I care about you and your baby.

While you are pregnant, please try to make it to a LLL meeting in your area. Many pregnant women attend these. When you are there, please listen to the new mothers in the group describe their experiences around breastfeeding and listen to their issues and concerns. If there is one woman in the group that you relate to, approach her and ask her if you can contact her to talk about your breastfeeding concerns.

Nursing mothers are not here to judge you and make you feel bad. Many of them have overcome incredible obstacles of their own to establish healthy nursing relationships with their own babies- and these women, many of them, are here for you. They will lend you their support and assistance if they can. So if you can get over your squeamishness enough to really expose yourself to what nursing is all about, and to give yourself access to other mothers who nurse their babies- you might find your way to a healthy nursing relationship with your baby. But it’s up to you, totally, to reach out at this point and to confront your issues around nursing. If you do reach out, you’ll find many wonderful women who have been where you are, and who are there to support you without judgement.

Before you decide not to nurse your baby, I urge you to attend 1 local LLL meeting and to read the book, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. At least this way, you can find become supported and informed before making a final decision. There is a lending library at most LLL meetings, so you can most likely borrow a copy at no cost. They also carry it at most libraries.

You and your precious baby are in my heart.

After they healed, I was able to go back to exclusive nursing with very little time spent. The pumping triggers a big let down initially for me, and takes very little time.

And exclusive nursing is so much less time consuming than cleaning bottles and preparing formula. But I had to pump when my nipples were too sore to nurse, but a good pump allowed me to heal and give my baby all of the exclusive benefits of breastfeeding which agreed with my “cost-benefit” analysis. At night, after baby went to bed, I’d pump a little longer while reading or watching a movie, enjoying my down time while pumping through 1-3 let downs of milk in each breast, again without feeling constrained by time. I was going to be sitting down and relaxing, anyway.

http://www.usbreastfeeding.org/News-and-Events/2009-03-26-Joint-Atlantic-Letter-Editor.pdf

It is very well cited, unlike Ms. Rosin’s article.

“The online review of the medical literature described in the article misrepresents the evidence on a critical issue for both
women’s and children’s health. Ms. Rosin claims that many studies did not show significant benefits of breastfeeding, but
her online research appears to have missed more recent information. In 2007 the DHHS Agency for Healthcare Research
and Quality published an Evidence Report conducted by independent experts who reviewed only high quality studies. The
report found that a lack of breastfeeding was associated with a statistically significant increased incidence of several acute
and chronic diseases affecting both mother and child.”

Hating life and resenting your daughter? That can’t be good.

How fortunate you are to live in such a progressive country, but I am sorry to hear of your troubles.

Oh, it’s still not magical and beautiful? You’re always in pain? Well, you must be doing something wrong. Hmm, your latch is still good. Guess you just need to tough it out a couple more weeks….

After five months of absolutely hating every minute of nursing, of crying between feedings just knowing I’d have to do another one again, and beating myself up because I’m SUPPOSED to love it, I finally broke down and bought formula.

I still nurse a couple times a day, and I actually enjoy it now. I’ve figured out the limit after which my nipples are in constant pain and I start hating life, and I avoid reaching it. But formula is the best thing that ever happened to me and my baby, and I feel duped by all the lactivists, not by formula companies. Formula companies aren’t the ones that made me feel like crap for five months. I’m still angry at the time I wasted trying to like breastfeeding but resenting my daughter instead. I should have been enjoying her, but I couldn’t.

Sorry if I don’t think I’m missing the point when I feel judged by other people who haven’t been in my shoes.

My gut reaction to formula companies is not to harm the women who feed formula to their babies- but to reject the corporate formula maker’s intent to convince women that breastfeeding is “too hard” the same way that the whole gynecological health care industry in the US is set up to convince a woman that she can’t birth on her own- that she needs the interventions they’re selling.

As a result, the US is 39th in infant mortality in the world, despite having the most expensive, most “advanced” health care.

So women who think that LLL and breastfeeding mothers judge them because of their reluctance to breastfeed I think are often missing the point.

Breastfeeding my son has been one of the most incredible experiences of my life. Easy? No. Simple? Not always. But he has been so healthy, strong, and happy because of the nurturing our nursing relationship has given him.

Many health care providers, family members, and corporations tell mothers they cannot sucessfully nurse their babies. That is why I feel so turned off by mothers who say “I can’t nurse my baby.” I feel so badly for her, like she’s been duped by a world gone mad when it comes to being truly rational about birthing and mothering. I want to help her, but I dont’ want to make her feel bad.

The breastfeeding article in the Atlantic I thought completely left out the role of corporations putting profits before mamas and babies, manipulating moms to buy their crap when it is NOT in the best interest of either mama or babe. That’s the real issue, in my opinion.