Comments on: Am I accidentally raising Christians?

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 14:53:53 +0000

A little late to your website (just found you via Bore Me To Tears) and your post.

I’m the mother of a now 16 yo boy (this is hard to believe!); therefore I dealt with the issues involved in attempting to raise a skeptical, rational human quite a bit ago (because, as I’m sure you have no doubt – by 16 years old these kids definitely have their own opinion – which is good!)

Reading your post today, I remembered back to when my son was a toddler / kidlet and then schoolboy.

He was exposed to Christianity because my husband’s family are fundamentalists (lots of fun); but I also looked for and found opportunities for him to experience or learn about other spiritual philosophies: he went to temple – both Hindu and Jewish, with friends of the family a number of times; I read him books (age appropriate) about Native American and Hawaiian religions and I taught him Greek mythology (his favorite).

I actually never commented on any of these philosophies in terms of my own opinion. However, like your child, he eventually asked me what I thought, or which one I’d picked. He was 8 years old. We were at the beach. I told him since I could not see any evidence of the supernatural god(s) of any of the mythologies proposed by humans, I could not accept any of them as explaining the mysteries still beyond the reach of scientific explanation…and more importantly it would make me feel the fraud to accept any one of these myths based on mere faith and reject the others when they only ask for that same faith.

His response: “Well, they are REALLY good stories!”

Eight years later, he is an athiest. Well, actually he’s a bit “Hitchenseque” at the moment but I watched my husband go through the same “coming out as an athiest” and think perhaps its a bit of a phase…we shall see.

I do agree with many of your commenters statements: it isn’t our choice what our children choose to believe. However, I do belive we can lay the right foundation for them.

By: Me

Me — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 20:29:24 +0000

I love it, thats great.

By: JohnFrost

JohnFrost — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 22:13:57 +0000

I have two kids, 4 and 2, and I am very worried about their exposure to christianity. My parents are the type of fundies who think it’s ok to scare people into believing.
Maybe it’s because of that, but I don’t really agree with the “soft” approach it seems most atheist parents take when it comes to educating their kids about Christianity. I mean, I certainly want to raise freethinkers and not unduly influence their opinions; but I’ve studied Christian history quite a bit and can say quite a bit more about it’s ludicrousness than even something as silly as a celestial teapot. When my kids start asking about the grandparents’ beliefs, I certainly don’t want to insult my parents too bad, but why shouldn’t I let my kids know that the emperor has no clothes, if y’know what I mean?

Thoughts?

By: Boston Mom

Boston Mom — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 05:20:25 +0000

I have very similar concerns, and I am just plain struggling to find a way to raise my children w/o religion (I am atheist). They are getting old enough (5 and to express that they sometimes feel *left out* of the fun that their friends have when they participate in religious celebrations (Easter egg hunts, First Communion, etc.) and yet, I am concerned that the are not old enough to discuss religion w/ their friends in a way that doesn’t get them ostracized. I see parents accept religion because frankly, it’s just easier to deal socially…And while I won’t do it…I also don’t want my girls discriminated against… Any words of wisdom to share? Thanks!

By: Rational Moms » Blog Archive » I’ve finally introduced my kids to Jesus!!

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 08:31:10 +0000

[...] but it didn’t. On some level, our situation seems more ideal than Laurie T.’s (where religion comes up in school ), but, on the other hand, it sounds nice to have some natural context (like in Laurie T and [...]

By: Beth

Beth — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 12:59:25 +0000

Good to see there is no luke warm here. So many Christians think they are Christians but, most are luke warm….I wouldnt worry too much about you kiddo’s becoming Christ like when they are learning to not believe. To be a follower you must believe…and have faith. This dont seem to be a problem in the household.

By: Victor

Victor — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 23:00:03 +0000

To paraphrase Richard Dawkins – there’s no such thing as Christian children, only children of Christian parents.

Reading all the comments above has been so refreshing. As the parent of a pair of (hopefully) rational and enlightened 9 and 13 year-olds, I’m looking forward to reading more of this blog.

By: EB

EB — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 09:55:18 +0000

I was raised without religion, ideology or atheism. My parents had no religion, didn’t care otherwise and only said that I couldn’t join a church or other such organization until I was 18.
I’ve always been an atheist but I had some believe in the paranormal. One of my viewpoints was that paranormal didn’t exist because if something exists, it is in the normal world, whatever it is. My believe in it faded and eventually went away because I kept finding no evidence, nor any logic that would make it even somewhat likely.
At some point I decided that buddhism was my way. To put it simply, I’m a philosophical buddhist. My take on rebirth not literal, I think that is the wrong way to go about it but that would be a blog by itself. My take on karma is not that ‘the universe’ auto-balances good and evil. Just take my word for it that I don’t believe in anything supernatural.

I have kids. I don’t try to teach them anything that is not reasonably factual except to think for themselves and to think critically. To my delight, I have a hard time making them believe in Sinterklaas (the Dutch Santa Claus) and Santa Claus. My 7yo son is at the point of completely ditching it.
Another thing I do is telling them something that is nonsense, saying that it’s really true and then saying ‘or is daddy talking nonsense?’ . The answer: ‘daddy, you’re talking nonsense’. I think it’s very important that they don’t just believe everything I say just because I think and say it’s true.

By: Humanist Symposium #27 « This humanist

Humanist Symposium #27 « This humanist — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 01:47:17 +0000

[...] about freedom of expression and the right to be offended, and Rational Moms shares a personal story about teaching children critical thinking skills and allowing them to decide for themselves what [...]

By: Nancy

Nancy — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 04:06:47 +0000

Here’s my dilema: the best atheists I know were formerly religious. There’s something about going through the process of being religious then rejecting religion that is in an of itself enriching.

I consider myself a humanist and though I am an atheist, I do think that religion embodies something about the human condition, something about our common humanity, albeit in a mediated form.

I recently read the art critic, Robert Hughe’s autobiography in which he describes the Jesuit education he had. How he tried very earnestly to have faith but knew he just didn’t, couldn’t by age 16.

He’s one of the best critics of the backwardness of the church but still able to appreciate the loveiliness of the human aspiration church art expresses. I’m not so sure exposing kids to church culture can play the same role.

So do I sign ‘em up for bible boot camp and hope they’ll rebel?