Be Skeptical of Your Friends Who Say Their Babies Sleep Through the Night
So, your 10 best friends and their babies get together for a play date.
Talk turns from poops to sleep and eight of your friends tell you that their
3-4 month old babies sleep through the night. Sleep through the night!!!
Don’t believe it. Ask lots of questions:
- what time is the last feeding? If it’s at 2am and the baby sleeps until 6-7am, that’s great but not quite sleeping through the night.\
- is this sleeping pattern consistent or is it once a week?
- what is the baby eating/drinking?
Babies are fickle. As soon as you think your kid is sleeping through the
night, the pattern changes and she’s up three times a night screaming for
food or farting/pooping or teething or something. It’s a rare baby that
consistently sleeps through the night at 3-4 months old. Commonly, babies
adjust their sleeping patterns when they are on solids and are eating three
meals per day along with formula and/or breast feeding.
So, don’t listen to all of the advice, and, more importantly, don’t beat
yourself up if your kid isn’t sleeping. Children are unique. If they are
eating solids along with formula and/or breast milk and are otherwise healthy, they
should start sleeping better when they are 6-7 months. Be strong and hang
tight.
The Nerd Said,
October 8, 2008 @ 12:35 pm
My 2-year-old still isn’t sleeping through the night! I think “sleep like a baby” is the most misleading cliche ever.
Nancy Said,
October 8, 2008 @ 2:39 pm
The parenting gods are cruel.
My sons slept through most of the night from birth BUT… they weren’t putting on enough weight so I had to wake them up every few hours and feed them anyway!
Julie Said,
October 8, 2008 @ 5:08 pm
My boy is 4 months old, and he wakes up twice a night. He teased us by sleeping 8-9 hours a couple times when he was 12 weeks old, right when I went back to work. Wow, we thought, what a good baby! Naturally, I bragged about his accomplishment. And then he went back to waking a couple times.
So I think the secret must be, based on the little evidence that I have: if your baby sleeps through the night, keep your mouth shut about it. If you tell, it’s over.
spyderkl Said,
October 9, 2008 @ 8:41 am
I don’t remember our daughter sleeping through the night until she was 4. Of course, in our house “sleeping through the night” has meant “for at least 7 hours, in her own bed”. I would have killed for even one night’s worth of sleep when she was 6 months old.
chanson Said,
October 9, 2008 @ 10:13 am
lol, true, “sleeping through the night” is definitely relative.
I was really pleased when my first started (more ore less habitually) sleeping from about 11p.m. to 6a.m. at only a few months old. But then the baby gods punished my hubris (kidding) as the second one didn’t stop waking up to ask for milk at 2 or 3 a.m. until he was nearly four years old.
Rob A Said,
October 10, 2008 @ 4:00 am
I’m waiting in hope for the teenage years when they sleep til midday, surface, forage, grunt and retreat to their rooms.
Calli Arcale Said,
October 13, 2008 @ 12:11 pm
My first baby slept through the night at one month. Seriously. I’d nurse her at 9PM, she’d fall asleep, and then she’d wake around 7AM. She’s five now, and if she falls asleep in the car anytime past 6PM, she’ll be out for the night. When teething, she’d occasionally wake up around 5AM. This was seriously a blessing, because she was cursed with colic. She’d scream from morning to night, so night was the only peace we got.
My second one was different. She insisted on a feeding around 2AM until she was about eight months old. She’s also a much lighter sleeper, so we have to be careful not to make any noise.
Debbie Said,
October 13, 2008 @ 12:48 pm
I always preface my response to “How does she sleep?” with “For the moment, she is sleep XYZ.”
reticent Said,
October 17, 2008 @ 10:53 pm
I can understand saying ‘ask questions’ but I disagree with the ‘don’t believe it’…it can happen. My daughter (now 12) slept through the night (at least 8 hours) from the day I brought her home from the hospital and has continued to do so (except when sick…and due to a genetic disorder she did not get her first tooth until she was 2 years old, so teething wasn’t an issue in terms of sleep). I realize that this is extremely rare, and I was lucky in terms of being able to get a solid night’s sleep myself, but it took a while for me to be able to take advantage of the situation because everyone kept telling me it wasn’t a natural sleep pattern so I was always anxious and worried that something was wrong! I think people get so stuck on what’s considered ‘normal’ that they end up overanalyzing everything!
Rebecca Said,
October 28, 2008 @ 4:00 pm
Why does everyone always ask this question at all? It reminds me of when I was pregnant and people always asked me, “what are you having?” I mean, honestly, why does anyone care how much my daughter sleeps?
For the record, though, she slept from 10-5 starting at 7 weeks and then started sleeping from 8-6 about a month later. Now at 6 months she’s only woken up within that time about 2 or 3 times. So, it happens. I don’t take any credit for it, it’s just her. I think there’s some justice, though, because I’ve suffered from bouts of insomnia all my life, and one of my biggest fears of having a baby was even MORE sleep loss. This fear was absolutely made worse by people constantly telling me I’d never sleep again. Then, after she was born and did sleep ok, people insisted on telling me it wouldn’t last. Really, that’s just a mean thing to say. It made me continue to be anxious that she would stop sleeping so well any day.
Bean Said,
November 14, 2008 @ 4:55 pm
I have two young boys and when they were babies I certainly noticed that conversations between mums (sorry I’m an Aussie, so they’re mums over here
usually included someone saying things like “little Johnny sleeps through the night…” My own experience taught me that baby’s sleep patters often changed from week to week. As the same parent a week later and little Johnny would have a different sleep pattern. I reckon that parents are somewhat fooled into thinking a baby’s routine is just that, routine. This delusion probably comes from a lack of sleep and a manic lifestyle. It isn’t really routine at all. A baby’s lifestyle is ever-changing.
amber c Said,
November 21, 2008 @ 8:08 am
My daughter slept through the night- I fed her lactose free milk (bottle) and the last feeding was usually around 10pm, I would hold her and rock her til’ 11:00pm she would snore -strange- and wake around 7 am, I put a very soft teddy in bed with her that we would hold through the rocking period all the time. The exact same teddy that she still sleeps with and she’s 5. I never allowed her to sleep with me. I have a son who’s 14 and learned the hard way- he slept in my bed til’ he was 6. Don’t let your kids sleep with you, you will never get them out of your bed.