As an adult who never really outgrew childhood, Halloween is my favorite holiday. Cool weather, candy, costumes, and no religion (for the most part)… what could be better?

Some parents, however, get anxious around All Hallows’ Eve. Kids running amok, candy from strangers, concealed identities, dark nights, horror movies–along with media hype–can snowball into a bit of Halloween hysteria.

But, what, really are the risks of trick-or-treating?

» Continue reading “A Rational Halloween”

I’m almost 34 weeks pregnant right now. At the beginning of my pregnancy, I was talking with a friend who believes she’s had out-of-body experiences (OBEs), that an afterlife exists, and that this is her final incarnation on this planet, in this form. As skeptical as I am, I always ended up listening to her stories with great interest, simply out of curiosity and a dose of romanticism.

So when I informed her of my pregnancy, she was delighted to explain to me how souls and other pregnancy-related phenomena work in or are affected by the “spiritual realm.” She told me she witnessed first-hand the process of choosing a soul for an ever-growing embryo/fetus, or, I should say, for the soul choosing the embryo/fetus.

Apparently, it goes something like this:

» Continue reading “Why I Fall for Romanticism”

I’ve just finished reading a book to amuse and enlighten any science-minded parent: Parenting for Primates by Harriet J. Smith. The author — a primatologist-turned-psychologist — compares parenting techniques across the entire primate order to give human parents some ideas about what works and why.

Naturally this should invite a little skepticism: it’s not clear how relevant the parenting techniques of other species are for humans. Even closely-related species can have very different life strategies. Still, it’s fun to compare and see what we can learn.

Humans stand out from the primate pack in a lot of familiar ways: extensive tool use and language, less inclined to live in trees, and adaptability and success to the point of covering practically the entire land surface of the Earth. Smith points out another big difference that I hadn’t noticed as a difference before: human fathers typically provide resources (food, clothing, shelter) for their offspring. Other primate fathers — if they are involved in the lives of their young at all — tend to provide protection (from rival males who would kill the unweaned babies to send the mother back into estrus), and often assist the mother in carrying and socializing the young, but leave the babies and their mothers to feed themselves. » Continue reading “Parenting for Primates”

There’s a great local legend where I live, in the Los Angeles area. A local restaurant serves a salad that is supposed to make overdue women go into labor. It is called “The Salad.” And it’s delicious. Even if you are not expecting a baby, I recommend it! The restaurant actually has piles and piles of journals with entries from women who have tried The Salad. Some come back after they give birth to update that The Salad worked for them. » Continue reading “The Salad: A Tasty Logical Fallacy”

LSG: “That’s pretty music!”

Me: “Yes, it’s from the bells in that church.”

LSG: “Mommy, do we not go to church because there are no churches around here that teach what we believe, or do we not go to church because there are no churches that teach what we believe?”

Me: “I guess the answer to that is that no church teaches what Daddy and I believe. There are many, many different kinds of churches in the world, and they all teach different things. My question is, which is right? And who am I to say which is right? The one thing most of them have in common is they teach that there is a supernatural being who has power over this world and the people in it. I decided a long time ago that I don’t believe there is a supernatural being who has power over the world. I believe the world is explained by science, and I don’t need to explain what I don’t understand by claiming it is because of a supernatural being. But Daddy and I want you to learn as much as you can and decide for yourself when you get older what it is you believe.”

LSG: “Yeah, because I remember learning in preschool that God used to talk to Moses and Noah all the time, but now you can only talk to God through prayer, and He never answers you out loud. And I thought, that doesn’t make any sense!”

» Continue reading “Love of Learning”

So, your 10 best friends and their babies get together for a play date.
Talk turns from poops to sleep and eight of your friends tell you that their
3-4 month old babies sleep through the night.  Sleep through the night!!!
Don’t believe it.  Ask lots of questions:
» Continue reading “Be Skeptical of Your Friends Who Say Their Babies Sleep Through the Night”

Here’s some news that will go against conventional wisdom. There are substantial risks to telling your child that he or she is smart. This totally contracts the cultural wisdom—Mom 101 is, I think, that you are supposed to fill your child up with unconditional positive regard, and many of us do that with labels like “smart” (or “beautiful” or “talented” or whatever). Many of us have come to believe that we should try to boost our children’s self-esteem so they will go on to be well-adjusted and successful.

» Continue reading “Why you shouldn’t tell your kids they are smart”

My two-year old daughter, Sally, loves ghosts. Last Halloween, she received the book Sheep Trick or Treat and since then we’ve read it many, many times. Sally points to the ghosts throughout the book and says, “Ooooooooooo” in her best scary voice. This leads to her ghost imitation where she walks around the house with a blanket on her head. Sally decided way back in June that she wants to be a ghost this Halloween. To my daughter, as well as rational people everywhere, ghosts are fictional, frivolous things. We can say this because the existence of ghosts, or any kind of paranormal activity for that matter, has never been credibly documented or recorded using true scientific methods.

In searching online for a ghost costume that will fit Sally better than a sheet (and let me tell you, it’s hard finding a ghost costume that doesn’t make her look like a Klan member), I happened upon a blog for parents of psychic kids. This site promotes “intuitive parenting for intuitive kids.” The posts are from parents who believe their son or daughter sees ghosts (mostly deceased relatives) or has an invisible friend. 

Readers of this blog write with glee about how sensitive and perceptive their kids are. Billy communicates with Grandma! Cindy sees angels! Joey talks to an invisible friend! (Note their use of the word invisible rather than imaginary. As a child, my sister had two imaginary friends. We never thought she had a “gift,” we thought she had a screw loose.) The parents are desperate for advice on how to nurture the psychic ability in their “very special” children. It’s sad when adults think they possess psychic abilities, but it’s really sad when they project these ideas onto little kids. Some of the children referenced in posts are only two or three years old.

» Continue reading “You Don’t See Dead People. And Neither Do Your Kids.”

I’m in my third trimester. I have an obsession with the divine combination of chocolate and peanut butter, no ankles, and breasts that would make the ladies in National Geographic envious.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was elated. My husband and I tried for about 6 months before the baby-making miracle finally occurred. However, looking down at the double pink lines was not as joyous as I had envisioned. I was actually somewhat nervous.

No. I was really nervous.

I grew up in Pennsylvania in a very—and I mean very—Catholic family. I was raised Catholic, baptized Catholic, received all the sacraments, went to Catholic school, attended CCD classes, and I attended church every week—twice—until I was 18.

I moved to South Carolina about 2 and a half years ago to further my career. I now live on the Buckle of the Bible Belt in Upstate SC, home to the most churches and dive bars in the tri-state area.

Oh, and I’m an atheist. So’s my husband.

» Continue reading “Pregnant on the Buckle of the Bible Belt”